I guess....

I guess I'll have to set up shop for my thoughts somewhere else because they are just so overwhelming and who really wants to hear all about the girl who made her baby's blocks, right? So last blubbering post I promise until I can sit at the computer and give these thoughts a home.

Life's path for me has been a twisted bumpy trail. It's lead me through some beautiful and horrifying landscapes. Some I wish I could freeze in time. Others I wish I could have taken some alternate route. I know in my heart each and every one was necessary.

I had a nice day today. My mind is buried deep in thought most of the time and it's nice to grab the shovel and dig up some of the bones in that emotional graveyard. I've died in many ways. I've come alive in so many others.

I told you change would come. Change IS coming. The decisions are feeling right and effortless and falling right into place. Hmmmm. It makes me wonder. Sometimes it is very difficult to find your own heart and your own voice in the midst of all the others. Plans look good on paper but you cannot attached emotion to a notebook and carry it through life.

I'm taking thoughts and storing them in my pockets. I'm taking hurts and keeping them curled in my fists, trying to find the right way to release them. Can you throw them to the wind or do they boomerang back to you? Can you just drop them and hope their trail doesn't once again find its way into you heart and life? Do you keep them there, clenched there, and let them destroy your soul? I don't have the answers, but I'm looking.

I'm reflecting on my own actions. On my needs. On my beliefs. On what I think is real and what I think it not. I'm grabbing the rope they call hope to climb out of the hole and whispering and wishing to land on my feet---in the right place. That's the key. Finding where we truly belong in life. Who we truly belong with. Who truly loves us for who we are. Who truly knows us, good and bad, and still wants to walk through life by our side. Love without exception.

I'm excited to walk down this path. I'm emotional about it. I'm sure I'll trip a few times. I'm sure I'll go off track but pray for guidance. I know in my heart I will make it to the right place. I know in my heart that some things are just meant to be and you have to have the courage, the faith and the trust to believe in it---no matter how hard.